Discurriendo por la San Miguel Chapultepec

A mi colonia, (sinónimo pretencioso de barrio), la San Miguel Chapultepec, ha llegado la post modernidad. De la mano de la cursilería y los buenos deseos han puesto en las calles ciclo vías que ocupan la tercera parte del camino. En la otra tercera parte está permitido estacionarse, así que para los automovilistas, que siguen siendo mayoría, queda un carril. De manera que, desde las siete de la mañana, frente a mi casa hay un ruiderío, (así se dice aunque lo subraye la máquina), de dar pavor. Dizque iban a componer el tránsito, pero no vemos claro, y los quejosos nos lamentamos de dientes para afuera y de puertas para adentro. Ni quién nos oiga.
Punto: Confieso que yo quedé atemorizada por un incidente trivial que por poco y me lleva a un sanatorio. El domingo salimos a caminar para ver “las obras”. Encontramos, antes que nada, basura por todas partes. No sé cómo alguien puede querer cambiar su casa si no puede ni limpiarla. Mientras esto le decía yo al historiador, cuya proclividad por los nuevos pavimentos es mucho menos reticente que la mía, me iba dando cuenta de lo ya dicho: para los autos en movimiento quedó un carril. Así que hasta en domingo había exceso de tránsito. Como si hiciera falta otro desorden, una patrulla se detuvo en medio del camino. Nosotros andábamos por la acera pasando frente a una miscelánea. Entre el lugar en el que se pone un taquero, al que la Secretaría de Salud finge no ver y la de Hacienda tiene fuera de su control, y una papelería abierta en domingo, supongo que por aquello de que algún niño perdido necesite algo para hacer la tarea de última hora. Eso es bonito del barrio, lo sigue siendo. Cuando mi hija era niña compraba en esa papelería, y pasó seis años tratando de adivinar el horario del dueño, porque abre según sus deseos. Nada como un trabajo que dependa del libre albedrío.
Punto y seguido: Pero ya me distraje. Estaba contando que la patrulla se detuvo frente a nosotros a explicarle a un buen hombre (no sé qué tan bueno, pero se oye bien llamarlo así), que no podía estacionarse en el carril en el que estaban estacionados otros cincuenta coches. Había una hilera de tres calles y la señorita policía no quería que se estacionara alguien más. El pastel ya era un hecho, pero ella no quería que tuviera cereza.
Como no me aguanto y soy metiche tuve a bien intervenir y decirle a la muchacha solemnemente vestida de autoridad, con su gorra y sus insignias, que todo lo que estaban haciendo me parecía una tontera y un sin sentido. La pobre criatura me miró con cara de yo no tengo la culpa y dijo, por desgracia sin ánimo de ofender: Es que “madre” así lo pidieron los vecinos” ¡Madre! ¿Me dijo madre? ¿Frente al señor de mi casa, con el que según yo coqueteo cual adolescente, esta niña me dijo madre? Sin saberlo acabó de un solo golpe con todo mi aplomo. Pedí las sales, que diría mi amiga Lilia, nadie me dio nada. Miré al piso, ingenuo piso pretendiendo un orden que nadie entenderá, y me callé la boca. La muchacha de veinticinco años me trató como lo que soy: una mujer de sesenta y cuatro, que para ella es lo que para mí sería una momia de ciento tres. Ya usted qué alega, habrá pensado, si ni que fuera usted a vivir tanto tiempo en este rumbo. O en cualquier otro.
Punto final: En conclusión, tras volver en sí, escarmentada por el golpe a su ego, esta servidora había decidido aceptar que pusieran barras, vallas, líneas, postes, plantas y topes sin meterse a opinar. Hasta que me llamó mi buen vecino, ése sí, sin duda, un buen hombre, para convocarme a una junta en la que se dilucidará otra vez, el por qué, el cómo y el cómo de que sí, se hace del, hasta hace poco, pacífico barrio, una carretera con tropezones y escándalo. Y rejuvenecí. Vamos a ver de a cómo nos toca. Yo no voy a estar en contra de la post modernidad, siempre y cuando el ruido de la modernidad que son los cláxones, los gritos y los choques, me deje vivir en paz. Lo que me quede de vida.
Poesía para hoy: todo, y todo a comprender/a un perspicaz entender/sigue un sutil discurrir Sor Juana consolando desde el siglo XVII


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  129. Hola:

    Pienso que la manera que tienen algunas personas en México de llamar » madre » a una señora a veces es peyorativa

    No creo que Uds. anden por esos lares pero si van a cualquier clínica del Seguro Social en México; las enfermeras, las recepcionistas y a veces algunos médicos se dirigen a uno con la palabra «madrecita»

    Ay madrecita «espérese» 3 horas para que la atiendan porque tenemos mucho trabajo, ay madrecita no se queje tanto si se nota que no le duele mucho, y así sucesivamente

    Espero haber escrito todo correctamente si no me van a decir: » Ay madrecita no se meta y mejor aprenda a escribir bien «

  130. Gracias, Betilón!
    Yo no andaba de parranda sino entre muertos; no malinterpreten. Estoy dedicada 14 horas del día a terminar mi tesis sobre duelo y por ello ni me asomaba por aquí. Aún no termino, pero necesitaba tomar una bocanada de familia. Así que permítanme darle un GARBANZO especialmente cariñoso a Marion. Querida Amiga, me uno a todo lo dicho en la entrada anterior.

  131. Confieso mi torpeza total en intento de conseguir poems de Sor Juana recommend ado por Angeles.
    Me permits acudir a las inteligentes companeras cotidianas para una adecuada busqueda del misno.

  132. ¡Muy bueno, Fabiola!

    Esto va para recordar a Cortázar:

    No te voy a cansar con más poemas.
    Digamos que te dije
    nubes, tijeras, barriletes, lápices,
    y acaso alguna vez
    te sonreíste.

  133. Eso, Dali. Lo dijo con respeto como dirigiéndose no a una mamá, sino a una abuelita. Pero esta anécdota ha sido un buen pretexto para que Fabiola nos haya hecho el recuento de los otros usos de madre, que son buenísimos. Y para que reapareciera Marion, y ¿quién les digo? Manuel. Que llevaba un tiempo mudo. Y Leti en el metros que tampoco había contado de Buenos Aires. Gracias a todos por el día de hoy

  134. Kunitín,

    Aquí los chistes siempre son de Pepito que, como dice FABIS, siempre es grosero.

    Y a los chistes groseros, aquí les decimos chistes colorados.

    Aquí no conocemos a Jaimito.

    En Francia El Niño de los chistes se llama Totó.

    Besos❤️

  135. FABIS,

    Todas las uso, todas son necesarias. Qué bien informada estás.

    Te cuento un chiste que me encanta.

    Pepito, preocupado, le pregunta a su mamá: «Mamá, si me rompen la madre quién se va al hospital, tú o yo»

  136. Con el permiso de Ángeles voy a copiar algunas frases muy dichas en México, en registro coloquial se entiende, para todos aquellos que no las han oído nunca.

    Alegría……………………………….Que a toda Madre
    Ubicación geográfica…………..Donde esta esa Madre
    Valor dietético……………………Trágate esa Madre
    Adjetivo calificativo……………Que poca Madre
    Escepticismo……………………..No te creo ni Madre
    Venganza…………………………..Vamos a darle en la Madre
    Accidente…………………………..Se dio en la Madre
    Efecto visual………………………No se ve ni madre
    Sentido del olfato……………….Eso huele a Madres
    Especulación………………………Qué es esa Madre?
    Superlativo………………………..A toda Madre
    Expresión de alegría………….Que Madre tan buena!
    Sorpresa……………………………Madresss!!!
    Exceso de velocidad…………..Va hecho la Madre
    Egoísmo…………………………….No me dio ni Madre
    Sentido del gusto……………….Eso sabe a Madres
    Pasado imperfecto…………….Que poca Madre
    Como Acción!…………………….Vamos a hacer esa Madre
    Acción futura…………………….Vamos a terminar esa Madre
    Ánimos……………………………..Ándale con esa Madre
    Desorden………………………….Que Desmadre
    Despectivo………………………..No se que Madres se cree!! o Vale Madre!
    Alquimista………………………..Lo que toca le da en la Madre
    Juramento……………………….Por mi Madre
    Mecánica………………………….Como funciona esta Madre
    Reparación……………………….Y que vaya jalando esta Madre
    Reclamo…………………………..No tienes Madre – o – Que poca Madre
    Negativa rotunda…………….Ni Madres!!!
    Pelea……………………………….Se están rompiendo la Madre !!!

    1. !Vaya Fabiola! !Que riqueza! Aquí solo se «estila» Desorden- Que desmadre.
      Ah y también -y esta última desde hace bastantes años- y ya estúpidamente bastante generalizado.
      Algo muy bueno es»De p..a madre!

      En fin.

    1. Dalí,

      Esa está bien. Denota respeto. Eres una señora muy jovencita.

      En Alemania todas son señoras. No importa si casadas o solteras.

      Besos.

      1. Y en Francia !

        Siempre recuerdo lo que le ocurrió a un extranjero en Paris.

        En una tienda al dirigirse a la vendedora y al ser esta muy joven le llamó Mademoiselle en lugar de lo correcto que hubiera sido llamarle Madame.
        La «vendeuse» le dirigió una mirada asesina y le dijo ¿C´est a moi, mo ndemoiseaux? (palabra que no existe, pero que ella se acababa de inventar como masculino de mademoiselle.

        Ya veis. En este caso a una mujer adulta -por muy joven que sea- hay que llamarle Señora.

        1. Lo sospechaba…. Joxepa…..

          A mi siempre me viene a la mente la mujer mayor que se ofende cuando le dicen Señora y aclara SEÑORITA! si me hace el favor!

          Aunque yo creo que ya sólo es un viejo recurso del cine de la época de oro.

          Beso

  137. No…en México un «madre» no es una forma de respetar a una señora…al menos en la forma en que la utilizó la persona con la que Ángeles platicaba. Esto, por supuesto, si entiendo el español mexicano tanto como el guatemalteco puesto que si eso sucediera en Guatemala sería una forma , tal vez no burlona pero sí bastante directa, para hacer referencia a la edad que se le intuye a la persona.

  138. Ángeles, me ha gustado eso de «caminar para ver las obras». Yo también lo he (hemos) hecho alguna vez y lo llamamos «visita de obras»…jajaja

    A mí no me han llamado nunca madre fuera del ámbito familiar. Pero a mi mamá sí que un día, cuando mis hijos eran pequeños, y sin estar ellos presentes, alguien se atrevió a decirle «Mire, abuela…». Al pobre que lo dijo le cayeron todos los rayos y truenos de Zeus con la contestación de mi madre: «Mire usted, a mí me llama señora, porque yo soy abuela solo de mis nietos»… ¡¡¡..!!! ¡Todo un carácter!

  139. Jejejjejejej, vieja atrevida!! Y todavía tenés que agradecer que dio «atrevida».

    Hace un par de semanas, en Buenos Aires, me subí al subte (metro por estos lares) y una chica joven creyó que yo estaba embarazada y me cedió gentilmente su asiento. Yo sólo llevaba un vestido ancho pero acepté el asiento!! 😀

  140. Bueno, al menos salio dos veces anteriores.
    Asi es que rebobino por una tercera instancia.

    Decia que, vaya! Tanto apesadumbramiento por un pálido «madre». Cuya exacta acepción mexicana se me escapa, pero a mis oidos suena como «respetable señora». En lugar del oprobioso «vieja» de mis tierras.

    El ascensor llego al piso indicado y la adolescente seguía enfrascada en conversa telefonica y sin miras de moverse. Por el costado derecho metí mi osamenta y sali a la planta, mientras la conversacion seguía en los siguientes terminos : » podes creer que una vieja atrevida me rebaso en la puerta? «

  141. Ay, Ángeles, me has hecho reír…
    Mi cara se debió quedar como la tuya la primera vez que un niño en la calle me preguntó la hora diciéndome «señora». Yo miré hacia atrás buscando a quién se estaba dirigiendo el peque… negándome a admitir que era yo 🙁

    No sé si decirte que qué suerte tenéis ahí, en D.F., porque aquí estamos empezando a pensar que los camiones de obra para calzadas son fantasmas que algún día remoto soñamos.
    Los baches son cráteres y hay que tener mil ojos para no dejarte una rueda en ellos. Por suerte, ya me sé los de mi barrio y confío que terminaré conociéndome los de todo Madrid, porque se adivina que se volverán arqueológicos.

  142. Estuve un par de dias ausente de este blog,pero que alegría volver y encontrar
    a nuestra querida Marion,¡ Cuídate mis amores !
    .
    Ángeles , maravillosas palabras que le dedicas Marion. Sobre la joven policía
    que te dijo «»madre»»,parece que la figura materna o paterna les está haciendo falta a muchas personas,Pues acá desde hace un tiempito le dicen «»papá»» a los señores y a las señoras ahora le dicen «»mama»».

    Divinos versos de Unamuno. Igual me encantaron los epitafios cortesía de Betilon
    y la confusión de Isa con la palabra «»maldita «»

    Cómo dice Ángeles , punto y aparte.
    El crédito de Puerto «»Pobre»» ya nos es «»Rico»» ha sido degradado a chatarra
    por las casas acreditadoras;Los boricuas dicen que ya no nos da catarro,
    ahora es chatarro y todos estamos achatarrados y esperando para ver que van a hacer los políticos que son los responsables de ésta debacle.Ojalá hagan lo que hicieron en Islandia que tuvieron que devolver lo robado o tendrian que ir a la carcel.

    1. Awilda querida,

      Si a Islandia le ocurre lo mismo que a nosotros… Estamos perdidos.

      Yo tampoco creo que tengamos remedio…..

      Cuídate tu también….

  143. Ay «madre» mía, Ángeles ¿qué será el día que te llamen abuela?…

    A mí me pasó como a Joxepa el día que por primera vez me cedieron el asiento en el metro. Aún no me he recuperado.

  144. Queridos,

    Aquí los burócratas son los que usan «madre» en vez de «señora»
    Cuando yo tenía VEINTIDÓS años y habiendo decidido no tener más que dos hijas… Una salpingoclasia bilateral era lo indicado. Ah, pues las enfermeras del Seguro Social me decían «madre»

    Son muy dados a los subterfugios…. Casi siempre tan innecesarios.

    Cuando tengo la oportunidad se los corrijo…..

    Un beso a todos

  145. En México una de cada cinco personas posee un automóvil, y siendo minoría ocupan la mayor parte del paisaje urbano
    Desgraciadamente no nos hemos resignado a darles el espacio que merecen, los consentimos con segundos pisos y autopistas
    Beso en la frente…

  146. Ángeles, que chistoso el post.

    Con los diferentes sentidos y acepciones de la palabra «Madre” del español de México, la muchachita autoridad seguro te estaba llamando linda, o cariño o docta, o jefa, o señora en muy superlativo.

    Me sigue asombrando la variedad que los mexicanos dan a la palabra madre. Puede describir la cúspide de lo maravilloso o la misma nada.

  147. Por aquello de «madre» .
    El otro día en un funeral un una iglesia llena, me quedé mirando buscando un asiento y una jovencita muy educada y amable, me hizo señas para que me acercase y……….me cedió su asiento. Era lógico, tenía la edad de mis nietos, pero, como es la primera vez que me ocurre,! me dio una rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrabia……………………..!

  148. Por aquí, también hay conflictos con los carriles-bici. Donde la anchura de la vía es suficiente pues perfecto, pero donde se quiere meter con calzador un vial para coches, una acera y un «bidegorri» – asi los llamamos, palabra importada de Inglaterra (red-way)- pues problemas y todos descontentos, los que van al volante de su coche, los peatones y los ciclistas. ! En fin!

    1. Esto de los carriles tiene su aquel. El otro día que yo iba de peaton, casi me atropella una señora-madre que iba en una silla motorizada con sus correspondientes cambios de marcha y su cesta para hacer la compra. Ella dudaba en cual de los tres carriles quedarse y de repente sin encomendarse ni a Dios ni al Diablo se cruzó para irse al carril de bicicletas. Yo casi me quedo sin pies pero la bicicleta tranquila que pasaba en ese momento se llevó la peor parte. Lo bueno es que esa madre- señora, no paró, puso cara de velocidad, sonrió y siguió feliz esquivando bicicletas.
      ¡Habrá que pensar en un cuarto carril!

  149. 😀 😀 😀
    ¡Qué divertido! Pero qué niña maleducada, llamarte madre!!! Jejeje. Te pasa por meterte donde no te llaman. Me he reído mucho, jeje.

    Betilona: también me divertí mucho contigo y esa colección de epitafios. Me gusta cuando la gente es capaz de tomarse con humor la muerte (y la vida). Y admiro a los familiares que a pesar del dolor son capaces de inscribir esas palabras…

    Marión: tus cenizas en el mar provocarán una sudestada!!!!!! Jejeje

  150. Buenas noches, Ángles querida,

    «No sé cómo alguien puede querer cambiar su casa si no puede ni limpiarla» dices ¿verdad qué sí?

    A mi me dicen todos los días que veo que construyen puentes monumentales donde no hacen ninguna falta. Que se te resbale me dice mi hermanita menor…. y no puedo, me mastico el hígado igual.

    Unos inconscientes y otros indiferentes.

    Que descanses…. ❤️

    (Ya de lo de «Madre» mejor ni hablamos)

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